August 6, 2007

Begum Rokeya: Sultana’s Dream

One evening I was lounging in an easy chair in my bed-room and thinking lazily of the condition of Indian womanhood. I am not sure whether I dozed off or not. But, as far as I remember, I was wide awake; I saw the moonlit sky sparking with thousands of diamond-like stars, very distinctly.

All on a sudden a lady stood before me; how she came in, I do not know. I took her for my friend, Sister Sara.

“Good morning”, said Sister Sara. I smiled inwardly as I knew it was not morning, but starry night. However, I replied to her, saying, “How do you do?”

“I am all right, thank you. Will you please come out and have a look at our garden?”

I looked again at the moon through the open window, and thought there was no harm in going out at that time. The menservants outside were fast asleep just then, and I could have a pleasant walk with Sister Sara.

I used to have my walks with sister Sara, when we were at Darjeeling. Many a time did we walk hand in hand and talk lightheartedly in the Botanical gardens there. I fancied, Sister Sara had probably come to take me to some such garden, and I readily accepted her offer and went out with her.

When walking I found to my surprise that it was a fine morning. The town was fully awake and the streets alive with bustling crowds. I was feeling very shy, thinking I was walking in the street in broad daylight, but there was not a single man visible.

Some of the passers-by made jokes at me. Though I could not understand their language, yet I felt sure they were joking. I asked my friend, “What do they say?”

“The woman says that you look very mannish.”

“Mannish?” said I, “What do they mean by that?”

They mean that you are shy and timid like men.”

“Shy and timid like men?” It was really a joke. I became very nervous, when I found that companion was not Sister Sara, but a stranger, Oh, what a fool had I been to mistake this lady for my dear old friends, Stster Sara.

She felt my fingers tremble in her hand, as we were walking hand in hand.

“What is the matter, dear, dear?” She said affectionately.

“ I feel somewhat awkward”, I said in a rather apologising tone, “as being a purdahnishin woman I am not accustomed to walking about unveiled.”

“You need not be afraid of coming across man here. This is Ladyland, free from sin and harm. Virtue herself reigns here.”

By and by I was enjoying the scenery. Really it was very grand. I mistook a patch of green grass for velvet cushion. Feeling as if I were walking on a soft carpet, I looked down and found the path covered with moss and flowers.

“How nice it is”, said I.

“Do you like it?” asked sister Sara. (I continued calling her “ Sister Sara,” and she kept calling me by name.)

to be continue